


Blood Lust

by lily_daisies



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Dark!Simon, Dubious Consent, F/M, M/M, Magic, Murder, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Original Mythology, Vampire!Simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_daisies/pseuds/lily_daisies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon has been missing for over a month when Raphael, finally finds him in an alley, but not completely himself. </p>
<p>// "Simon!" He looked over at the mouth of the alley and saw someone running towards him. He knew them, but couldn't remember, something blocking the memory.</p>
<p>  "What did you do?" The stranger asked and looked down at the sweet girl with the sweet scent. Simon smiled and purred. "Can you smell it? It smells beautiful." He closed in on the man, circling him. "But you.." He purred. "You..smell even better."//</p>
<p>Old magic, Gods, Monsters, and hopeful love fill this story with twists and turns that will hopefully make your heart ache, and ugly-cry happy tears. Much love and see you on the other side. xx</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Arsonist's Lullaby-Hozier for full effect.

  The blood burned a white heat in my body, feeding the blinding hunger that consumed the humanity that was left of me.

  The girl crawled back like a coward, crying and speaking and begging, but I wasn't _listeningg_. "Please!" She pleaded and pleaded and pleaded, but I drew closer and closer and closer because she just smelled so.. _sweet_.

I realized I was laughing as she prayed under her breathe.

  "God can't save you now." I rushed her, too fast for her eyes to see and grabbed her by the neck. "You're mine now." I smiled, all sharp teeth and she screamed, struggling to get away. The look in her eyes riled my thirst and I could feel my mouth watering.

  "Got you." I whispered into her ear before biting down on her neck. My teeth piercing her skin and she cried out.

Screaming, and screaming, and _screaming_.

Blood filled my mouth and I greedily took everything.

Taking and taking and _taking_.

  Her body became pliant and I threw her body down, piercing her thigh and draining her entire body.

  Blood covered her like a blanket and I smiled down at the work I'd done. Her blood coated my chin, neck and my hands, soaking my shirt. I breathed in the sweet scent, pulling out a [cigarette ](http://lilycaerulean.tumblr.com/post/146707560181/blood-lust) and planted it between my blood stained lips, letting the smoke fill my dead lungs.

 

  "Simon!" I look over at the mouth of the alley and see someone coming towards me. I knew them, but I couldn't _remember_ , something blocking out my memory.

  "What did you do?" He asked with wide eyes and looked down at the sweet girl with the sweet scent. I smiled and purred. "Can't you smell it? It smells beautiful." I got up closed to the man and circled him. "But you.." I purred. "You..smell even _better_." I scented the air, his smell blocked the girls and I pinned him against the brick wall.

  "Simon!" He coughed and blushed lightly. I greedily devoured his voice and pushed my tongue in his mouth. Pushing the taste of the girl in his mouth. "You taste beautiful, baby. _Who are you?_ " I purred, pushing my hips into his, feeling his excitement against my thigh. " _Simon_." He moaned out and I smirked. "Stop. What's wrong with you? You need to stop. You just killed someone." He rambled, voice shaking, shaking his head trying to clear his head. I flashed my eyes, burning red and he stopped squirming.

"Camille.." He whispered and I looked at him confused.

  "Who is this Camille you speak of? You're mine." I growled, pulling my lip up into a snarl and quickly sunk my teeth into his neck. He groaned out. _"Simon."_ He moaned and I smiled against his neck. I fed from him, marking him and claiming him.

Mine, mine, _mine_. 

"Sorry Solomon." Someone spoke up and the world fell out from under me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment what you think! Much love!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who said you were in control?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Control by Halsey for full effect. On repeat.

  The first thing that I could register was the sound of murmuring voices and the scent of God. "...you sure you're gonna be okay?" Someone spoke with concern and diligence. "I'll call you if anything happens." I kept my eyes closed and waited til I could no longer smell the other man. My skin felt like it was _burning_ and my soul was hungry. Hungry for God. For the man who smelled of pure _light_.

  "I know you're awake. You might as well stop pretending you are." The man spoke. His voice was nervous and I laughed.

  "Very perceptive, my love." I grinned—all teeth. For a moment the man is quiet, walking, circling the bed. He stared from where he paced and I could still smell the desire buzzing underneath his skin, the nervousness and undernote. 

  I tried to sit up to when a tug kept my hands and feet down. I snapped my head up and growled. The rumble resonating through my chest.

  "Why have you tied me up, my light? I want to _feel_ you." I purred, trying to get him to look into my eyes.

_Look into my eyes._

  He continued to pace around the bed and I groaned out, squirming. His eyes snapped over to me and I tried to hide my smirk. As I withered around on the bed, his eyes stayed trained on me, his pacing stopping.

_Good, I really hate fidgeting._

  "Please.." I whined, high pitched and his eyes darkened. "I promise I won't do anything." I feigned innocence. His face grew dark and I knew I had him. His scent sweeten, darkened, he smelled like _heaven_.

  "Please.." I whimpered and bared my neck. Pliant, submissive. It was like something snapped and he was on me before I could react. His fangs pierced my neck and I cried out.

 " _Ah!_ " I smiled, breathing in sharply before snapping the rope and twisting my hands into his hair.

" _Fu-uck_." I moaned and he growled against my neck. " _Mine_." I smiled and pulled his head back by his hair. His face was covered in my blood and I felt my eyes bleed red. " _All yours **.**_ "

  I reached over and licked the underside of his jaw, up till the corner of his mouth, latching onto his lip and biting. His gasp sounded loudly in my head and I ripped his shirt in half.

  His skin was a blank canvas waiting to be marked. I bent down and bit down on his collarbone, before retracting and sucking on the skin, bruising him. I moved into new spots, biting and nipping and sucking on his neck.

  His skin now littered with my marks and I smiled at my work. "You're so _beautiful_." I whispered against his skin and took his nipple between my teeth. His breathed hitched and I rolled it between my lips.

  I felt his hand reaching towards my neck and I quickly grabbed both of his hands. "Ah, ah, ah. Keep them up here for me, love." He nods and gripped onto the bedpost with determination.

  "Good, baby." He preened at the praise and I continued marking his skin, leaving a trail and I could feel his resolve slipping, his entire body shaking.

  " _Please_." He whimpered and my stomach burned. I closed my eyes, trying to regain control. He lifted his chin, exposing his neck, taunting. He smirked, and I snarled wanting to wipe it off his beautiful face.

 I growled,  flipping him onto his stomach, tearing open his jeans and pushing them off. He took in a sharp breathe and I shredded my pants as well. I pushed three fingers into his mouth and he eagerly sucked on them.

  I pulled him up onto his hands and knees, spreading his legs apart and planting myself right between them. I took my fingers from his mouth and slowly pushed the first finger in, curling it, and his shoulders tensed. I slowly moved it around, curling and pumping in and out, before slipping the second. This time his shoulders didn't tense and he pushed back on my hand.

  "Patience, baby." I smiled and pushed in the third. He cried out and I pumped them faster, curling and pressing on his prostate.

  His entire body shook, and I ached to get inside him. "P-Please-e." He moaned and I quickly took my fingers out, his whine worth it.

  I lined up with him and slowly pushed in. Inch by inch. His loud moan turned into a growl and I smirked.

  I closed my eyes and breathed, trying not to succumb to too many stimulants. I bent down, pressing my chest to his back and whispered in his ear. " _You feel so good, baby._ "

 I trailed my hand down his chest, down and down, wrapping my hand around him and swiped the pad of thumb over the tip, using the precum to slick him up.

  I pulled out slowly, up until only my tip was in and he whined. I snapped my hips and stayed. Again and again, the slow torture, never changing and never giving too much. Keeping him on the edge for as long as possible. I pumped my hand at a steady pace, never changing.

His body shook, taut and ready to _snap_. His back arched and I could no longer take the slow pace.

  "You're mine. Now and _forever_." I purred into his ear, snapping my hips and again and again and _again_.

Faster and faster and _faster_.

  His moans were fast and loud, almost screaming. I could feel the pull in my gut and I picked up the pace.

  I stopped pumping my hand and wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling him flush against me and pushed his head to side, baring his neck and biting down. His blood tasted like heaven, and of lust. The girl's blood tasted like dirt compared to this. His tasted like God.

  He _screamed_ and I fucked into him with a nonhuman pace. "Come for me, baby." He yelled out for God and I laughed. Pumping faster until I saw white and came into him.

  " _Simon!_ " He screamed, following me and I continued to fuck into him. He clenched around me and I collapsed on top of him.

  We both laid there, not moving and me, still buried inside him. I pulled out, rolling over to the side of him, pulling him on top of me. He cuddled up into my side and I looked at the mess we made.

  His hair was everywhere and in his face. Blood covered our bodies and the sheets. His skin was covered in marks and my chest swelled. I put my fingers, under his chin, making him look at me. His face was lax and his eyes were tired.

He was _beautiful_.

  He smiled sleepily and I kissed his forehead. I waited until I knew he was asleep and slipped from the bed. I looked around the room, searching. Everything tugged at my brain.

_Why couldn't I remember?_

"You should really know how to pick up on things around you." Someone said from the darkness and I looked at the man who spoke, his eyes shown a lime green, like snake eyes.

"Who are you?" I hissed and bared my fangs.

 "Oh please, calm down Samuel." He laughed and my brow furrowed. "You're gonna spill your filling all over the ground." He smiled, waltzing over towards the bar and pulled out a chair. "I'm a friend. Here to help and all." He gestured with a hand.

"Now." He exclaimed after swallowing whatever he made. "Let's see what's going on in that little head of yours." He smirked and placed a hand over my temple.

A searing pain washed over me as I fell onto my knees and I cried out for God.

_**"RAPHAEL!"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you for all the kudos! I hope you like this installment. Let me know what you think in the comments!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun is bright and warm, but my sun is dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! I really fucking appreciate it!

First, it began with the screaming and then came the _pain_.

The blinding pain, but all I could hear was _Simon_.

Simon _screaming_.

Simon crying out.

Simon calling for _me_.

  I'm out of the bed before I'm fully awake and I rip Simon out of Magnus' grip. "What the hell are you doing?" I roar, my fangs bared out. I've never done this before. Never towards Magnus. He stares at me confused and shocked. I'm shocked at myself as well.

  "I-I was just—just—" He tried and tried again and I just looked down at Simon. He had a light sheen of sweat and his hair was matted against his forehead now. His breathing was ragged and he was clinging onto me. _Jesus, Simon._

 "I'm sorry. I thought I could help." Magnus voice is shy and I hate it. I hate me. "Don't. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that." I sigh, running a hand through my hair. It's a habit I picked up from Simon.

 We sit there for a while. Magnus with his knees pulled in and his head on top. Simon in my arms, asleep. His scent isn't overwhelming now, as it was...before. It's normal, almost as when I first scented him.

  "Magnus. Something's wrong with him. I can feel it." I close my eyes and pull Simon closer to me. _Very wrong_. 

  Magnus shifts and reaches out towards us. I look down at his hand and nod hesitantly. He shifts closer, until he's right next to Simon and slowly places his hand above Simon's heart and _pushes_.

 Pushes past whatever is wrong with him, pushes past whatever _darkness_.

It's like that for awhile. Magnus' hand over Simon's heart and me holding onto what I consider the last life raft. My _world_. I would never have the guts to tell him neither. Even after everything, I'm still too scared. Magnus calls me out on it every chance he gets.

 Simon starts to shake and whimper, to much for me to get a grip on him. "Magnus!" I shout. His hand is starting to shine brighter from where he's touching Simon. Simon is shaking and the panic is choking me. 

"Magnus! Magnus, Magnus, Magnus! Stop! Please!" I'm almost screaming. The panic tightening around my throat. The room is starting to shake and everything is _too hot_.

 

_**"Magnus!"** _

 

  I roar his name. The sound blocking out everything and anything. It's like it shocks him cold. Shocks him right and he pulls back from Simon, crawling back further from us and he scrambles up and further away.

  "Magnus?" I question, laying Simon down on the floor gently. He jumps as if he forgot I was even in the room.

  "How did you do that?" He asks quickly, almost accusingly. "Do what? Magnus." I grit out, confused. He's shaking his head and speaking under his breathe. He only does that when something serious is going on.

  "Magnus!" I yell and his attention snaps towards me. He marches towards me, hand stretched out towards me. "Simon is. I have never heard of it, it's been years. Jesus. _Years_. And _him_! Of all people!" He's talking too fast and talking nonsense. He's in front of me before I can get away, hand already on my temple. "Magn—"

 

 

It's bright and warm. That's the first thing I can tell. _The sun_. I gasp and shout, sitting up. I feel my body, making sure none of me is bursting into flames and dust. I'm good.

I look up and place a hand in front of my face, shielding my eyes from the sun.

 _Jesus_ , when will I be able to say _that_ again.

I hear rustling. From a tree, across this field I'm in. A little doe emerges from the bush and it's like a scene from a movie. I stand slowly, trying not startle it. I hear a humming sound come from behind me and turn just in time to see a blur of motion pass me.

Next, there's a boy, _Simon_ , trailing a hand on the deer's tuft. "Simon.." I whisper and his head snaps over to me, but it's too blurry and the sound is escaping me. Everything is escaping me. "Simon!"

 

"Hm." I hear someone huff. "You were out longer than I anticipated. Oh well." I slowly blink my eyes, trying to get focus and failing.

"Wha..?" I slur and they click their tongue.

"Honestly, after all these years you would think you would recognize my voice my now. You've only know it, oh I don't know, you're entire life." He sasses and I don't even have to open my eyes anymore to know who _that_ is.

"What did you do to me, Magnus?" I grit my teeth. The pounding in my head is almost too much, but I finally open my eyes. Magnus has changed clothes since last, and I can see Simon moving around the room.

"Simon." I gasp, getting up too fast and the world dives.

"Well, that looks troublesome." Magnus says as he catches me.

"Woah there, Big guy. Don't pass out on me now." Simon jokes.

My face must be contorted with confusion and Magnus pulls me away from Simon. "I'll just take this to bed. Finish the tea, Sheldon." He dismisses him and I have no choice, but to follow.

"What the fuck is going on?" I demand and use the bedposts for leverage. Magnus is chewing on his lip and I can tell he's trying to find what to tell me and what not to.

"Magnus. I swear to god, if you don't tell me what the hell is going on." I threaten, he's known me long enough that they were empty threats.

"I wish I could find an easy way to figure out how to tell you. Do you want it straight out? Just—rip it off like a bandaid?" He questions and I resist the urge not to roll my eyes.

"Magnus.." I sigh and he raises his hands in defense. "Alright, alright. Bandaid got it." He's still stalling and I'm at my wits end.

"Magnus!" I snap and he startles. "Okay! Simon is a Forever!" He bursts and it just confuses me worse.

"A what?" I tug in my chin. He sighs like he can't believe I don't already know this, as if there was a class or something.

"A Forever. A reincarnation. A G—"

"Okay, I get it. But that doesn't help any. I still don't know what the hell you're talking about." I sigh, pushing a hand through my hair.

He clicks his tongue again. "Well, maybe if you wouldn't interrupt people. Which, very rude by the way. I've met your mother, she would have never approve of such manners. She would roll in her grave." He reprimanded and I groaned out. I can see the bastard smirking.

"Fine. _Dios_ , Magnus." I roll my eyes and he smiles. "Please! Continue what ever is sooo important."

He squares his shoulders and leans in close, as if he were telling me the secrets of the universe.

**_"A God."_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! Please let me know what you think in the comments!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blood was on my hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update. I have another chapter that I'm writing which will be much longer. I promise!

“Stupid warlocks..stupid tea..stupid memory..” I stirred angrily at the tea, making sure the honey had disappeared. During the time Magnus had Raphael under that trance he had avoided any questions I bothered asking, ignoring me and cleaning up any mess that was around. _What the hell happened to me?_

I had woken up in Raphael’s bed with fresh clothes, and I could tell the sheets had been recently replaced. Magnus had been in the living room with Raphael, and my stomach lurched at the sight of him. He was paled and panting. I had rushed over to Magnus pulling him away from Raphael as if Magnus would hurt him. Ever. “Jesus, what is up with you guys and the pulling?” He said, irritated. I had pushed Raphael’s hair back, and he unconsciously leaned into it. “What happened?” I questioned. “Why is he like this?” I eagerly looked up at him, and he sighed. “Calm yourself, Steven. Rapha is fine; he’s just dreaming.” He straightened out his shirt and walked over towards Raphael’s kitchen. “Now, I know he has tea in this godforsaken hotel..” He mumbles, rummaging through the cabinets. I shake my head at him and look back over at Raphael. His skin is even paler than usual, and I gripped his hand in mine. “Ah hah!” Magnus exclaims and I ignore his presence.

There’s a pounding in my head that makes the room too bright, and I try and reel in any recollection of what has happened in the last couple of hours, but everything is coming up blank. It only seems to make the pounding worse. “I can hear you thinking from here, Sebastian. Stop, before you pass out again.” He pulls out a kettle I didn’t even know Raphael had and puts it on the stove. He’s wearing a floral shirt that has most of the buttons undone and necklaces upon necklaces around his neck. His hair is pushed out of his face perfectly, that I _know_ , has some magical influence. I sigh and stand up from my position. “Why can’t I remember anything, Magnus?” His back is facing me, and it frustrates me even further. “Why is everything just... _gone_?” I scoff, and I can hear him sigh again. Why is he always _sighing_? He slowly turned to face him, his expression more somber and burdened. “Camille _did_ something to you. I’m still trying to figure out exactly _what_ , but..” He trailed off, shaking his head; as if trying to shake away the image. “I think Raphael should be the one to tell you everything.” He finished and turned back around. I had been just about to question him further when I heard Raphael groan, and Magnus was by his side in a flash.

Which leads us up until now. Raphael and Magnus in Raphael’s bedroom and me in the kitchen.

“I don’t think there will be much tea left if you keep stirring it like that, fledging.” Raphael’s voice is suddenly behind me, and I almost drop the cup, but he catches it in time. “Still need more training I see.” He smirked, amusement laced in his voice. “I see _someone_ is feeling better enough to criticize my every move in life.” I replied, taking the cup from him. Magnus sauntered into the kitchen, and I handed him his cup. “Thank you, Shane.” He smiles, and I resist the urge to correct him. Silence settles over us, and I can feel the tension in the room. I sigh exasperated, “Is someone going to tell me or am I gonna have to talk someone’s ear off first?” Raphael and Magnus look at each other and Magnus gulps down the rest of his drink. “Well, I guess it’s time for me to go. I’ll be in touch later. Keep me updated, Rapha.” A portal appears in front of Magnus, and he turns to give a wave before stepping through.

The silence settles again, and I look back at Raphael. He’s looking down with his arms crossed in front of him. “What’s going on, Raphael? Why doesn’t Magnus want to tell me what the hell happened? Why can’t I _remember anything_!” I yell letting the frustration get the best of me. I can feel my eyes begin to water, and I blink away the bloody tears. I scrub a hand over my face, and if it weren’t for my enhanced hearing, I wouldn’t have heard the words that made the world spin and dip. “What’d you just say?” I whispered.

“You killed someone, Simon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Another installment to this crazy story. I hope you guys liked this quick little tidbit. Hope everyone is well! Let me know what you think in the comments! Love you guys!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not who I think I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I've been on an almost hiatus. I promise I'll be updating more and more. I have everything lined out to a tee, so more to come! Hope you like this one! Let me know in the comments! Love ya!

It was as if the sound had gone from the world. As if the air had been torn out of my lungs and I was drowning on nothing.

_**"What?"** _

My stomach rolled and I raced towards the bathroom, blood spilling out of my mouth and I belatedly realized that it was the blood of the person that I--the blood of the innocent. My stomach ached and twisted, trying to empty itself. The blood spilled and spilled until I was left a heaving mess trying to rid of the bad. Rid of the burning guilt.

I felt Raphael's presence before I felt him and I cowered away from him. _"Please. Don't."_ I pressed my back against the wall away from him, holding my hands in front of me, trying to keep him away and I buried my face into my shoulder.

"Simon."

I couldn't look Raphael in the eye, unable to let myself accept his comfort after what I'd done.

I was a _**monster**_.

"Please, Raphael. _I'm a monster_." My voice was taut and it felt as though I had a ball stuck in my throat. I didn't know what I was begging of Raphael. To be lying? To say it was his way of getting back at me for betraying? To just take the pain, take it, Raphael. Take it all away. 

_"I'm a monster. I'm a monster."_ I rocked myself back and forth and I pressed further into the wall. I felt Raphael's feather light touch as he gripped onto my hand and I cried out. _"I'm a monster. I'm a monster."_ I repeated and yelled out. Raphael entwined his hands with mine and pulled me towards him and I allowed myself to fall into him.

_"I'm a monster, I'm a monster."_

" _Shhh_ , baby. It's okay. It's okay. You're fine. I'm here now. _It's okay._ " I laid in his lap, curling into him, clinging onto him as if he was slipping away the more I held on. My sobs wrecked my body, shivering and cold and I cried out loudly. I clutched onto Raphael, scrambling and he held on tighter.

He held me close to him until I grew tired and I sagged against him. I was drowning from the sick knowledge of _knowing_.

_Knowing you're a monster,_ my mind reminded me. I gripped onto Raphael tighter.

I searched around the bathroom for a sign of what time it was and my eyes landed across a basket full of bloodied sheets.

I pulled back from Raphael and tilted my head at them, brow furrowed. Raphael traced my line of sight and his eyes widened. I ran towards them before he could hide them and I held them out.

The sheets were covered in blood that was dried, but not old. But it wasn't the blood that confused me, but the fact that they smelled of Raphael and me. Mixed together and intertwined. _Together_.

"That's nothing, Simon. You don't need to worry about those. You need to rest." Raphael reached for the sheets, but I stepped back and held them away.

"What is this, Raphael?" I asked, angry that he was trying to protect me. "Huh?" I gripped his hand and he stood still. "Just what exactly did I do, Raphael? These-" I held them up,"-smell of us. Why do they smell of us?"

"Díos, Simon. You need to stop and sit down. Let me get you to lie down first. _Please_." He begged, his voice desperate and tired. He took the sheets from my hands and threw back into the basket.

I silently walk towards the bedroom and he tucked me in.

He paced around the room, fixing and stalling. Moving and face hard like stone. His hands were held behind his back, picking at his nails.

"Raphael?"

He stopped pacing, finally, and moved towards the foot of the bed.

"I found you in an alley bleeding a girl dry." He stated, not looking at me. "You were covered in her blood, and you smelled _different_. You smelled different. I almost didn't stop. I had approached you, but you didn't recognize me. You were different and you were hungry. As if you hadn't eaten in years. You were only worried about my scent and how good I smelled and I'm not saying that you tried to kill me, but it was like I couldn't _think straight_. All I could think of was how _good_ you smelt too and I didn't really stop you, and I didn't want you to. You fed from me." I took in a sharp breath and Raphael turned his body towards me, but still didn't look at me.

"You were feeding off me, until Magnus came and knocked you out." He stood again and started pacing.

"We took you back here and we tied you up to my bed." I listening intently and didn't make sound, not wanting to disturb Raphael's replay of the events. "You were passed out for a quite a bit and Magnus had decided to leave." Raphael swallowed hard and rubbed at the back of his neck, still pacing. "You were like a completely different person. You were cocky, and arrogant. Hungry, and you moved differently. Smooth and with purpose. But you wanted something from me. Something that I gave to you, eventually. I didn't mean to take advantage of the situation, but it felt like I could do nothing but be compliant. You had me wrapped around your finger." He scoffed a bit, disbelief that he had so easily fell for Simon's tricks. I stayed still, the blanket discarded, everything too constricting and too hot.

"We-" He hesitated. "We did stuff together and we did it. We had sex, but the whole situation felt like I was in a daze, almost like encanto." Raphael's face was slightly red and he still avoided eye contact. "After everything, Magnus had come back and he was only trying to help, I realize that now." He scoffed at himself. "At the time though, I bared my fangs to him. I have never done that before, but I did because you were _screaming out for me_. He was trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with you, and he was _hurting you_. That's all I could think. He was hurting you and I needed to _protect_ you." Raphael's voice was strained, and he looked confused. He looked at me and sighed. "He managed to do something and you smell normal now. I can smell the sandalwood, and everything that makes up your scent."

It was quiet for a while, neither one of us saying anything. Raphael moved to where he was sitting at the foot of the bed turned towards me, but he stared at his lap. 

"There's something wrong with you, Simon. Camille-" He looked at me and he looked so tired. "She did something to you and all I can think about is ripping her heart out." He clenched his hands and I still didn't know what to say. "Magnus told me something. He told me that he-he thinks you are a Forever. It's a Reincarnation or God or something" I felt my brain short circuit and felt my eyes widen. 

"A what?" I questioned. 

"He showed me a memory, I guess. I'm assuming that's what it was, but I saw you there, but you were different-a good kind of different. I felt the sun again and díos, Simon. It was beautiful. " He smiled softly, finally looking at me. My heart ached and I returned the smile, glad I was able to place it there, even if it was indirectly. He brought his hand up to my face, stopping just before he touched me, silently asking for permission. I granted it, pressing my face into his hand. His hands were soft and my chest felt light. 

I covered his hand with mine and I tugged on it, getting him to reposition himself to lay down. He laid down slowly, making himself pliant under my touch, willingly. I drapped my arm around him and laid my head on his chest.

The silence before, would've been eery and unnerving, but now..now it was my silent lullaby and it pulled me to sleep. 


End file.
